This God ordained institution called Marriage, is a timeless institution, an amazing and beautiful journey of two lives woven together, each thread representing shared dreams, laughter, and the promise of tomorrow. This is institution has fundamental pillars that sustain it for success and for its purposes to come to reality.
Marriage has to do with commitment beyond words, a journey filled with moments that define a lifetime. Marriage is not just a contract; it’s a shared adventure where love is the compass, understanding is the map, and trust is the guiding star.
if you wonder, what is marriage, it’s an embrace of both calm seas and stormy weather, a sanctuary for vulnerability and strength. Carefully follow me as I explore the essence of marriage – a celebration of partnership, companionship, and a love story that never truly ends.
The Lord God of our creation is the essential foundation upon which a strong and lasting marriage is to be built. That was while Psalm 127 says, “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it” (vs. 1). A long lasting marriage must be based on a relationship with God of the partners for desiring marriage.
Remember, marriage is not a be of roses, not even Christian marriages, are immune from troubles and trials. But, a marriage that stands on the bedrock of a strong relationship with God can weather any storm that comes along (Luke 6:47-49). These marriages achieve everything God designed marriage to be.
There are several non-negotiable fundamentals that stand as pillars in every strong, lasting marriage. Paul describes the husband’s and wife’s role to have a strong marriage in Ephesians 5. Verse 21 begins by addressing both spouses: “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” We are called to humbly submit to our spouses by focusing on their interests, concerns, and needs. This requires a servant attitude and a servant commitment where we lay our rights, status and ambition aside.
Verse 33 gives us a concise definitive statement of God’s idea for marriage: “However, let each one of you [husbands] love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” The word “let” indicates this is a command to be continuously followed.
Before taking a look at the Keys to a successful marriage, permit me to talk about soul tie. Soul tie is another incredible principles that make for a blissful and enjoyable marriage. A soul tie is an emotional and spiritual connection between two people. It can be formed through relationships and interactions with certain individuals, such as family members, friends, co-workers, romantic partners. The bond shared between two people who are connected by soul ties can be strong and long-lasting. Unfortunately, not all soul ties are positive ones; some cause us to become attached to unhealthy or destructive relationships that we should break away from in order to heal and move forward in life.
The concept of a soul tie first originated in New Age belief systems and has been adopted in some Christian communities, though it is a concept that can be applied to anyone regardless of their spiritual or religious beliefs. When two people have formed a healthy and positive soul-tie connection, it can be an incredibly rewarding experience. A healthy soul-tie relationship should enhance your life, not take away from it. This entanglement of two individuals, in the souls, emotions and wills is an indescribable reality that make an amazing relationship. Let me stop here, we talked about this some other time...
KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
= GODLINESS: The Word of God is clear in 2 Corinthians 6:14 not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. However, it’s not enough to go to church and call yourself a Christian. If you want your relationship to stand the test of this time and the storm of life, you must walk with someone who has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. One who demonstrates the fruit of the Spirit and not just the gifts. As you date, you must grow our spiritmen by spending time in the word of God.
=CHOOSE: another key a successful marriage is the kind of choice we we make. choice in its concept is the range of different things from which a being (human) can choose. Our choice affect us either negatively or positively, make a positive choice if you must enjoy your marriage.
Freedom of choice is generally cherished, whereas a severely limited or artificially restricted choice can lead to discomfort with choosing, and possibly an unsatisfactory outcome. In contrast, a choice with excessively numerous options may lead to confusion, reduced satisfaction, regret of the alternatives not taken, and indifference in an unstructured existencel
= FRIENDSHIP: Are you friends? Make your partner your friend is a wonderful decision to make because it enhance your relationship, bond and understanding of oneself. Friendship is the fuel of a man-woman relationships. When you are friends, forgiveness is easy. When you are not, sin has a field day. Friendships grow through:
a. Conversations. The power of one-on-one talks cannot be underestimated. Through conversations, you get to familiarize yourself with this person. Dating and marrying your friend will be the greatest decisions you make as far as relationships are concerned. When singles fear boredom in a relationship, the answer is friendship. When someone is truly your friend, you hardly notice when time passes by.
b. Celebration. Celebrate your partner. On birthdays and special milestones, acknowledge their progress. Make it special for them. Spending money on people to celebrate them helps show that you value them. People may forget what you say to them but they never forget how you make them feel.
= ATTRACTION: Are you drawn to this person? If you are married, you may say that there was that one time when you held hands and the sparks exploded. But I’m talking about more than that. I’m talking about character attraction. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against physical attraction. It is good to be attracted physically to the person, however it is not a good foundation for a relationship because eventually you grow old and it doesn't last. If physical attraction would sustain a relationship, Hollywood marriages would be our example to follow. It is important to note that attraction does not just happen; attraction grows. You cultivate it as you spend time with that person. The best way to know the true qualities of a person is by spending time with them. I encourage singles to hang out in groups and study the person. Exclusive hang outs could lead to emotional entanglements that could cloud your judgement.
= COMPATIBILITY: is an important ingredient in relationships because it is the basis of how well you and your partner get along together. Things like being physically attracted to each other or having complementary astrology signs may indicate surface level compatibility. However, true compatibility often involves sharing the same values, beliefs, interests, goals, and lifestyles. "Compatibility involves being in alignment with one another in a way that allows you to function together harmoniously," de Llano says.
= COMMITMENT: We have a vast generation of young people who make many relationship mistakes because they define love as a feeling. Love is a commitment first and a feeling later. When love is a commitment first, the meaning of “For better or for worse” in marriage makes sense because feelings come and go. And believe me the times of “not feeling” in relationships always come! If you thought relationships always have that giddy feel when a teen likes another, you’re either in for a shocker or in for a crushing disappointment- either way you’re wrong. That is why marriage, of all relationships, is upheld by several cultures and religions despite their theological differences. Marriage was a gift to humanity not to a particular religion. When you stand in front of people and say "I will" and “I do” you are making a commitment that you are obliged to live up to.
= EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: An effective communication is when you and your partner can discuss problems, challenges and find a common ground for solving the conflicts. It is not good for any relationship if a partner creates boundaries around them and not share anything with their partner, be it good or bad news. Arguments, misunderstandings or resentments do not make a relationship strong. It is essential that you become a good listener when your partner is saying something, also understand that he or she is not your competitor, so do not mock them or make sarcastic remarks.
© Scholastic Ufedo Dominic
..............................TO BE CONTINUE...................
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